Not About Him

5 years or so i thought i’ve been crying over him. My first boyfriend, first relationship, and first break up. Someone said that first break up is the hardest, i guess i could say i didn’t survive my first break up.

After a long deep thoughts i could finally say that i didn’t miss him, i never was. I’ve been having this thought right after the break up but right now i’m sure of it. I don’t miss him and he didn’t hurt me. I as i refer to the one and only me was the one who’s hurting my own self. I’m frustrated of the idea how can someone leave me, feeling unloved and worthless. 

Self-worth was all along i’m looking for. I feel the need to get validation from others in order to feel worthy.

i just need someone to hold on, someone to take all the blames. and the truth is, all along the one i’ve been put in so much hatred, disappointment, curses is myself. i disappointed in myself so much i don’t know how to overcome 

It will be a long journey, but i believe i will survive.