Knowing the Unknown

DUDE, I JUST REALIZED THIS IS SO DISORGANIZED! I WILL KEEP THIS POST BUT I WONT UPDATE IT. INSTEAD I WANT TO RE-ARRANGED MY MIND AND WORDS IN A WHOLE NEW POST SOON. 

stare into the vacancy, take a deep breath

be patient, always i’ll wait.

and all of your falling, does it get exhausting?

(Noah Kahan - Anyway)

          image source : flickr.com/briavoine- martine

Please noted that this is still on going, it's not finished yet.

This Version might still related to love life, but i'm gonna updating soon about my own thinking in every aspect in life. 

I've been thinking, for a really long time. 

At first i'm doing it the wrong way.

High School.

The very first encounter happened in my life that flipped my whole world around.

Traumas you might called it. A lot of things happened all the goods and the bad ones. I'm blessed to have experience such a thing, because without it i won't grow into who i am today. I will be still as naive as i was before, well i still am naive sometimes i can't help it. 

I used to doubt and hate myself, always take the blames for someone else's fault. Now i realize i shouldn't have done that, im sorry to my 15 years old self. 

It hurts, a lot.

When someone you trust the most break their promises, lies, cheats, and betrays you. It makes you questiones your self "What did i do wrong?" "Am i unworthy? Is that why everyone's keep leaving me behind?" "I should've done thiss.. that... so they wil..." All of this questions and what-ifs thinking stayed in my mind for a really long time.

Now i began to realize, people comes and goes for a reason. What's been a lesson for us, might have been a blessing for someone else. We don't have the right to hate anyone, we're just happened not meant for each other. But doesn't mean it allows them to hurt you. You know, there's a saying if it's meant to be, it'll always find its way back to you. I learned this, and i can refers this quote to the scene from the movie "Dear John" When John and Savannah did not end up together, but years later eventually they met again on the other side of the world. From here on, i believe we should not force love, we should not beg for love. Because, if they really love you, you don't have to ask for it, it shows and they will give us unlimited forms of love for the rest of their life. They wont make u feel confused, if they did then they're not sure about their feelings to you just yet, or maybe they're not in their right stage of their life. If that's the case, then there's nothing you can do. Because nothing will change their minds, unless they're finally reach their right stages of their life.

---to be continued hihi